


stop lying to me

by idontknowhowtoread (heatherpotts)



Category: Asagao Academy: Normal Boots Club
Genre: M/M, Nightmares, asavoid sort of?, but its an angst prompt! yeehaw!, but yeah clown warning watch out, dont ask me what this is i dont know either, everyone is fucked up, ian and jeff are roommates in this btw i got a big head, luke sweetie im so sorry for even implying you two are possibly together oh my god-, oh god later update jared is in this too...
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 10:25:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18547909
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heatherpotts/pseuds/idontknowhowtoread
Summary: Ian is a bad liar.





	stop lying to me

**Author's Note:**

> angst prompt from here: https://snake-noodles.tumblr.com/post/176196126762/150-angsthorror-prompts
> 
> 48\. "Stop lying to me!"

Avoiding sleep isn't easy, so Ian had taken to many unconventional methods. It would have been nice if he could use all of those extra hours to actually get some work done, but he could rarely get his thoughts in order, and his pencil never came down on the paper. The first time he tried to write an essay like _this_ was 14 pages of pure nonsensical garbage. No punctuation, just words strung together in a way that he thought made sense at the time. Since he got that paper back from Shizuka, asking if it was a joke, he decided simply not doing it was a better idea.

 

In its place, Ian took several late night walks, went stargazing on the roof, stalked the dorms and pressed his ear to each of the doors, wondering if anyone was still awake. They often were, working late, partying, or just playing games. Ian never actually knocked, though.

 

It was inevitable that people would realize something was wrong with him. He had never actually been caught on his late night adventures, although there had been a couple close calls, but the morning sun illuminated the cracks in his façade, burning through him and revealing something under the surface.

 

It wasn't his appearance that really made people catch on. It's really out of the ordinary to _not_ be tired, stressed, or depressed, and other than the occasional check ins from Shizuka, the other members of Hidden Block, and Josh of all people, it had never drawn that much attention. When it got too bad, he would simply claim to be sick. Most times, he really was sick, because staying awake this long does numbers on one's immune system.

 

Still, Ian preferred it to the alternative.

 

People only really started catching on when Ian started lying.

 

Ian would still kick himself for it sometimes, he should have kept his answers to his peers incessant questioning short. Tired, stressed, depressed, or sick. Relatable, concise, short, and sounds like he's being more open than he really is. Those answers aren't necessarily wrong, _but no,_ he had to overcomplicate them and watch his story go up in flames right in front of them, because he was much too sleep deprived to lie decently.

 

He's never been a good liar. He's always hated lying, it always feels so… _gross_. But now, he doesn't have any other choice. Now that he's started, he can't stop.

 

Contrary to the stoic, tsundere persona he puts up in public, he really doesn't mind being open with his friends. It's always felt freeing to him, regardless of the actual severity of the situation. Late night talks with Jeff from their beds, about whatever's been on their minds, school, love, the meaning of life, whatever. Ian cries fairly easily, but the first time he cried during one of those talks, Jeff practically harassed him until he came down from his bunk and let Jeff hug him. The first time he broke down in front of Caddy, against all odds, he dropped everything to comfort him at the height of their exaggeratedly violent fight. The first time one of Luke's songs made him cry, the worry and remorse in Luke's eyes was both adorable and agonizing, and it took Ian forever to choke out that he was fine, it was good.

 

His song, ‘I'll be there for you’ still makes Ian teary every time he listens to it. On nights like these, he can't listen to it without sobbing, and therefore won't let himself listen to it at all. Instead, the silence, the slight disturbances in the dorms around him, and the wind rustling through the trees are all he has.

 

Even that can make him emotional on the worst nights. Or maybe, it's the absence that gets to him.

 

Opening up was never this difficult before. He had never felt like he was being a burden, not since what, 8th grade? Not since his edgy, emo phase had he been scared to admit to what's been on his mind.

 

And in refusing to tell the truth, he started lying.

 

It must have been a couple months ago, now. Ian barely remembers the game they were playing, must have been Nario Party or something, because he was bluffing about his intentions or items or _whatever_. But much more vividly, he remembers the way Luke turned to face him.

 

Still joking, of course, but unnaturally stiff, his jaw clenched, eyes sharp and dangerous.

 

“Ian,” He said, his hand landing heavily on Ian's shoulder, hard enough to make him jump. No matter how hard he tried, Luke had never truly been able to scare him. And Ian wouldn't say he was _scared_ in that moment, but… unsettled. Like it wasn't really Luke talking. “You are a terrible liar.”

 

Maybe that was only scary in a newer context. At the time, Ian just laughed it off. He doesn't remember if he won or lost, guessing that he lost given how much he sucks at Nario Party, but that was the one part of that blur of a night that truly stuck with him.

 

Naturally, Luke would be the first to really call him out on his bullshit. Jeff was overly mindful of boundaries, too nice to mention the oddities he didn't sleep through. Caddy would tone down the fighting when he noticed, but he never really inquired.

 

But, Luke…

 

Luke was almost just as prone to sleepless nights as Ian. Hypocritically demanding at first, but grateful for the company once he accepted that neither of them were going to sleep. Luke, in all of his sweet, overly caring, sleep deprived glory always made for an experience this late at night. It certainly fulfilled its purpose in keeping Ian awake, either playing whatever video game Luke chose together, watching stupid movies, going up to the roof to stargaze, listening to music, watching Luke freestyle, etcetera.

 

It was great, on the nights that it actually worked. But sometimes, sleep deprivation and Luke's inherently empathetic nature would prompt him to pry into whatever had Ian up all night.

 

The whole point of these nights is to avoid the nightmares, the visions, the static. And when Luke asks in that stupid, sappy tone like a child that wants something, Ian just can't handle it.

 

His main excuse is that he simply “can't sleep,” which isn't wrong, and Luke would easily accept. At first, anyway. But after a while of using the same excuse, ignoring Luke's further questioning into _why_ he couldn't sleep, and even ignoring the question entirely at times, it was inevitable that Luke would realize that something was wrong.

 

And hearing Luke ask what's wrong is the one thing that just _breaks_ Ian. His voice would shift, from sleepy and somewhat giddy to honest concern. The way his voice drops to a gravelly whisper drips with compassion, almost nervousness, and Ian can't _fucking stand it._

 

Nights like these, he regrets coming to Luke.

 

…

 

Technically, Luke came to him, after Ian had sent him some mindless “u up?” text at 3AM. He doesn't know why he did it, he must have been running low on ideas that would keep him awake, after running every other social media he had completely dry. Luke replied, “yeah. wanna play some stomp or something?” to which Ian gratefully accepted. Slinking out of their room as quietly as possible in order not to wake Jeff, he found Luke right outside of their door.

 

As it turned out, after three rounds of masterfully kicking Ian's ass at stomp, Luke was more interested in the “or something” part of his message.

 

Luke set down his controller, stretching before curling back in on himself, hugging his knees.

 

“So, what's been up with you?” Luke asked, a whisper more so out of tiredness than mindfulness. Ian struggled to make eye contact with him, instead analyzing each individual fiber of the grey carpet.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“I don't know, you've just looked… sick. Something in particular been keeping you up?”

 

“I think that's called being sick,” Ian replied, sarcasm remarkably weak, the aftertaste bitter on his tongue.

 

“You're not, though,” Luke assumed, correctly, but then reconsidered for whatever reason. “Wait, are you? You contagious?”

 

“Maybe.”

 

“I don't know. I just meant you look tired.”

 

“Side effect of not being able to sleep.”

 

“I just-” Luke paused, realizing how his voice had been rising, dialing it back to a petulant murmur. “I just meant I thought there might be something on your mind.”

 

“Like what?”

 

“I don’t know, the reason you can't sleep?”

 

“Well, what's your excuse?”

 

“I don't know, that I'm worried!” Luke said, much too loudly for the thin walls of their dorm. Luke flinched, squeezed his eyes shut, and whispered again, all while Ian simply stared blankly. “About school… and music… and just, myself…”

 

_And you._

 

Luke didn't say it, but Ian knew he meant it.

 

The concept took him back to what only must have been a couple weeks ago, getting breakfast in the cafeteria.

 

…

 

He was alone, zoned out, poking at his eggs when Jared of all people came up to him.

 

“Hey Ian!”

 

“Hey.”

 

The tone in Jared's voice wasn't exactly odd, but the whole popular pretty boy persona he had going on in public was always a bit off putting to Ian. And while the façade was thick, Ian thought he might have heard a touch of smugness, or maybe concern in Jared's words.

 

“Hey, can I let you in on a little secret?”

 

“I guess.”

 

“It’s about Luke.”

 

Ian tried not to flinch, but he can't remember if he actually did. He swallowed down his last bite of eggs and set down his fork.

 

“What about him?”

 

“Well- You know I've been staying with him more after class, we have theater together now-”

 

“I'm aware.”

 

Luke had told Ian about Jared, how funny he was in theater class and the many oddities of his meticulously organized dorm. Still, Ian couldn't help but feel that there was something neither of them were telling him, from the time he caught Jared frantically applying a heavy layer of foundation to the base of his neck in the bathroom, although the layer was never quite thick enough to fully cover the hickies, to the way Luke's hands shook when he spoke about him, how his recent compositions have been especially romantic.

 

Ian knew he was being overdramatic, unrealistic, a bad friend, but something about it still made his heart flare up with protective pride and jealousy.

 

“Uh- Yeah. So I was hanging out at his room a couple days ago, and…”

 

Jared paused, seemingly contemplating what details to omit.

 

“I think he was pretty tired, so he was just kind of rambling and I don't know if any of it really means anything, but he told me he was worried about you.”

 

Ian tensed, his eyes avoiding Jared and focusing back on his empty plate.

 

“He said you haven't been sleeping, and that you looked sick, that you've been coming over late at night more than you usually do.”

 

Ian had never really grasped the true intent of Jared's words. If it was honest concern, trying to establish a stronger connection through Luke, implying he seek help or a warning to back off, Ian had no idea. Maybe he was just lying, Ian's condition wasn't exactly a secret.

 

“So, I don't know. I just thought you should know, that he knows.”

 

At least now, he knew Jared wasn't lying.

 

…

 

“Luke, I'm fine.”

 

“No, you're not,” Luke spat, bitter and broken. “If you were fine, you wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be here, we'd both be asleep. But I know we're in the same boat.”

 

“What boat are we in?” Ian whispered, finally wrenching his eyes away from the walls and looking at Luke, taking in how his face twisted in pain, how tears threatened to spill from his eyes, reflecting the TV's light. A knot formed in Ian's stomach, but he couldn't see himself doing anything to make Luke feel better. “You don't know what I'm dealing with.”

 

“Then tell me.”

 

“I told you, I'm fine-”

 

“Stop lying to me!” Luke cried, still much too loud despite the strangled quality to his voice, smacking the ground and turning to face Ian.

 

“Jesus, quiet down.”

 

“Just- s-stop lying to me. Please. I can't keep watching you just… suffer, and not do anything about it but ignore it, because I care about you, I…”

 

Luke's voice broke, choking out a sob as tears spilled from his eyes. Impulsively, Ian scooted forward, wrapping his arms around Luke and shushing him.

 

“I-I'm sorry.”

 

“Don't be. I'm the one who should be sorry,” Ian comforted, feeling Luke tremble under his touch.

 

The power he had filled Ian with an odd, detached sense of pleasure. He supposed he relished any sense of power over his situation he could get.

 

“I just… I'm sorry. I don't even know if I can explain what it is…” Ian rambled, half hoping the words would pass over Luke's shoulder and fade away, never to be heard. Clearly, they didn't. Luke's arms around Ian tightened.

 

“It's like- It's not the stress or anything, I have no idea what's causing it or how to get it to stop, it just feels like something's just… wrong with me.”

 

Luke took a breath as if he was about to say something, but nothing came of it but a shiver. Immersed in suffocating silence for only a moment, Ian wondered if Luke was giving up.

 

“… Do you get the nightmares too?”

 

…

 

_Wait…_

 

“… What?”

 

“It's, uh… Like, the ones you can't wake up from and feel like they go on forever, and you keep waking up but it still hurts, and you can't tell what's real-”

 

“Yes,” Ian interrupted, pulling Luke away from him, scanning Luke's face and finding nothing but apologetic, compassionate sincerity. “I- Don't tell me you…”

 

“Mine are pretty weak in comparison, honestly,” Luke assured, although Ian doubted if that was true. “But I've talked to Hana and Peebs, they get them too. Is it the same thing with you where it’s just one scene, but different parts of it and you gotta like, stitch it together yourself?”

 

“Yes, yes,” Ian whispered, wishing he could scream. “Mine are…”

 

Ian felt this throat tighten at the thought, electricity mockingly dancing over his skin.

 

“It's… I'm trapped in this… Void, place. And there's a TV, and it just, _screams_ at me, and-”

 

“It’s okay,” Luke comforted, pulling Ian back in and squeezing him as tightly as he could without hurting him. “You’re okay.”

 

Luke’s arms were remarkably comfortable, warm and tight around him. Ian was supposed to be the “master hugger,” or whatever, but maybe he had some competition now. He felt himself relaxing, eyelids drooping, and he didn’t mind at all. There was still the nagging sense in the back of his mind that this was _wrong,_ that he was encroaching upon something that wasn’t his, that things would get even worse if anyone found out about tonight, but…

 

Ian felt himself losing consciousness, his mind growing fuzzy, and he couldn’t stop himself.

 

One last exhausted question.

 

“What are… yours like?”

 

Luke didn’t respond right away, repositioning his hold on Ian. He sighed, rubbing Ian’s back, and that was the gesture that really sealed Ian’s fate. He was too tired to even fear falling asleep, and it might have been selfish to ask that question and then not listen to Luke’s response, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Maybe Luke didn’t really say all that much, because all Ian heard was “don’t worry about it.”

 

…

 

The nightmares persisted, of course, but for some reason, the Void seemed warmer.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think im gonna continue this bc I barely remember what I was going for with this but know that lukes nightmares are snatcher related. im out this bitch happy 3 years of asagao


End file.
